Called Me A Fat F#@k8#^ Bi-Polar Bitch!

Question:

I’m not sure if this is the right place to ask this or not. I’m really at a loss. I’m currently employed at a private country club. It has recently come to my attention that the Executive Chef has referred to me as, pardon the language, a “fat fucking bi polar bitch”. His words came to me directly from his Sous Chef, who works directly below him in the chain of comm. and. I’m not doubting this as he has called me “bi polar” to my face on several occasions as “a joke” in his words. Now, I take offense to this. I have also heard him talking about other employees out loud in public areas using the “N” word in reference to African American employees and joking about not having a green card with Hispanic employees. His Sous Chef asked me to not go to the general manager with his name because he fears for his job. The general manager has also just put into effect a new dispute resolution policy today of all days, where the employee must contact his direct supervisor with any complaints. The Chef IS my direct supervisor! How can I handle this? Thank You.

Signed,

How Can I Cope?


Answer:

Dear How Can I Cope?:

This chef is obviously socially/legally lethargic and needs to be quickly informed. That policy that was implemented is an excellent policy; however, I have a question: is the Executive Chef your immediate supervisor or is the Sous Chef your immediate supervisor? If the former, then you go directly to his supervisor, if not then you go the Sous Chef and kindly explain the Chef’s behavior and your reaction to it and how it makes you feel and that you want this kind of behavior to cease immediately. If it doesn’t stop, then go to the general manager. Keep in mind that you exhaust all your avenues and not violate your employee handbook in terms of its sexual harassment policy. I’d be interested to see what happens. Please keep us informed as we all want and desire that great place to work. Take Care

Think great place to work and do what you know is right to help it move in that direction–that’s WEGO-mindedness. Follow Up: The Chef is one of my immediate supervisors. I work in two different departments and my other dept head is on vacation. I spoke to the Chef today one on one. My sister is also an employee and also heard his comment. I had her on my cell phone while I was in the office with the Chef discussing the issue so I might have some sort of witness there since no one else was on duty yet. I informed the Chef that I heard what he said, and while it was not appreciated, I would not hold a grudge against him because of it. I prefer to come to work, do my job, and go home with as little drama as possible. He tried to deny he said it, but I told him once again that I had heard it come out of his mouth myself and there was another witness as well.

He apologized SEVERAL times, and I told him that the slate was clean as far as I was concerned, but that the event had been documented in my notes and that I had also contacted an outside source. We left it at that. That was this morning. I worked my first shift with no problems or backlash. Before I left, I covered my bases by talking to my service asst manager and told him everything that had happened and everything that was said. I came back tonight for my second shift and I’m immediately rushed up to by the majority of kitchen employees saying the Chef has gone to each and every employee he has and asked if they heard him say anything derogatory about me or anyone else. They all told him no. They fear he will take action against them (which he has done to his Sous Chef in the past when he filed a complaint against the Chef), but that if the general manager asks them if anything had been said, they would tell him anything that they had heard the Chef say about any fellow employees.

Then the Sous Chef tells me that the Chef told him he was going to get my sister and me by making it appear that we are both troublemakers. I have not said anything to anyone there other than the Chef himself, the Sous Chef, my asst service manager, and my sister who is my boss in my third department that I work. So far, I have followed every guideline that has been set with dispute resolution. What should I do if he continues this behavior of going to others and TELLING them what to say if they are asked anything? Thanks for any help you give. Signed, Here’s To Coping

Dan Kearney