What Should I Do About My Feelings For My Boss?

A Question to Ask the Workplace Doctors about having a crush on a boss:
How can I know if he feels the same way about me? 

Question:

I’ve not worked in a place where my male boss has been so nice to me. He’s a sales person and talks the right way all the time. I know, as I was a gamer before. But then I felt his sincerity when he compliments me. He often compliments me and notices a lot about me. From my eyelashes that he said was nice, he even mentioned that my black eye liner looks better on me than the silver. He says my curled hair looks good. And I caught him gazing at me. When I smile while we talk or when I look him in the eye, he would look away. When we are alone for work, we always have good times. I feel so comfortable around him and in fact I enjoy very much being around him.

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My Manager Told Me My Face is Ugly!

A Question to Ask the Workplace Doctors about options for handling a rude and personal remark by a manager: 

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Question:
I work in a restaurant/bar and most of my managers are men (I’m a young woman). They’re constantly telling me to smile and last night one of them said “you’re not cute… Your resting face is especially ugly”. Can I do anything about this?

Answer:
Hello, thank you for your workplace question. You ask if you can do anything about the fact that your manager said your “resting face” is ugly. (What a rude thing to say!). There is nothing legally you can do about it. If there are higher level managers I think this rises to the level of complaining about rude behavior by someone who is supposed to be motivating you. If it is a corporation with an HR section, you would have the option to complain formally, if it is a small local establishment you may not have that option. So,  the work situation will dictate how far you can or want to take it as far as making an internal complaint.

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Chain of Communication Problems and Work Backlog

A question to Ask the Workplace Doctors:
Am I being set up to get in trouble about a backlog of work and chain of communication issues?

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Question:
I work in a high stress, fast-paced environment (lots of emails and phone calls) which I am still trying to balance out even after almost 3 years. (I spent my previous years in jobs which were seasonally busy i.e., 2 months busy, 3 months light, 2 months busy, 2 months light, 2 months busy). My present job is more of 4 months slow, 8 months busy.

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Can Spouses Stay Friends In Spite of Workplace Problems Between The Other Half of the Couples?

A Question to Ask the Workplace Doctors:
How can I find out if  the wife of my husband’s former coworker
wants to stay friends with me? 

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Question:

My husband and his good friend/co-worker applied for the same job and my husband got the promotion. My husband was able to overlook some of his coworker’s faults because of their friendship, but when my husband moved into a supervisor role he has had to address some of the ongoing issues and they are no longer friends.

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How Can I Tell My Boss I Have Too Much Work To Do?

A question to the Workplace Doctors about feeling overworked but not knowing how to tell the boss. 

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Question: I want to speak to my boss about him giving me too much work. I have been pushy about proving myself by initiating a lot of projects (inside and outside the bounds of my job responsibilities) and sprouting ideas–all of which have been very successful in a very short amount of time. However I feel that as a result, now my boss entrusts me with a little too many responsibilities (it’s too early to ask for a promotion, by the way).

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How To Repair A Bad Opinion By A Boss?

A question is asked about how to repair a bad opinion by a boss, based on something that happened in a meeting. 

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Question: 

I’m mid-level in the advertising business where it’s important to be a go-getter. My company recently met with a collaborating company to discuss a joint-ad campaign. However, their terms were not favorable to us. I was more familiar with the account than my boss—he was at this meeting to finalize the terms of the deal.

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Stalked By My Boss’s Jealous Wife

Question for Ask the Workplace Doctors about being stalked by a jealous wife: 

“My boss’s wife is jealous of me and  I think she is stalking me. What can I do?”

Dear Workplace Doctors,

I am a female electrical engineer working in a research development group. I have two little children and I support my husband who has a medical problem and cannot work full-time.  My boss and all of my co-workers are male. I have been at this new job for about 4.5 years. My boss is one of the toughest people I have ever worked for and I have had to complain to  his boss and HR about his aggressive anger toward me, in the past.  He fights with my other coworkers the same way but he doesn’t seem to be as aggressive toward them as he is to me. I have had miscarriages while I worked there and never even felt I could tell him I was pregnant, because I didn’t want him to know.

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Wants Recognition For A Worthy Charity

Question to Ask the Workplace Doctors about gaining support for charity: has support from celebrities but lacks popularity of a competing group.

My question is not regarding paid work, but my unpaid volunteer work. I am the founder and president of an event under a convention. What my group does is entertain guests at conventions as famous heroines and heroes from the films of the genre that the convention is all about. However, when I created the event, I wanted it to be more than simply dressing and delighting as beloved characters, but also go beyond and act as real heroes. Thus, at conventions, my group will hold charity drives. This summer we held a canned food drive and, a few weeks ago, we held a clothing drive.

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Does not Accept Me As Boss

Question to Ask the Workplace Doctors about a male subordinate who does respect her as boss:

I have a subordinate who I feel does not treat me like his boss. I believe there are multiple factors 1. I am female,  2. Have equal educational qualification.  He sometimes talks to me as though I am his friend. For instance on his first day of his job, he was asked me what’s my background. I guess he was trying to assess how come I am in a superior position. Another instance was when, in front of many people, he motioned with his his fingers signaling me to come to him. Seriously i did not liked that and thought to discuss his behavior with my boss but later declined this thought.

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Avoiding Judgment of Non-Participators

Question to Ask the Workplace Doctors about those who don’t participate: It’s not good to judge others, but what can you do to get non-participators to come on board?

What can members of a team do to not pass judgment on another team member who does not participate? How do you get him/her to come on board?

Signed, Get On Board

Dear Get On Board:

Yours is a common question because team member’s commitment and effort often are not equal. Forget not being judgmental. It’s impossible not to become aware of members who don’t pull their own weight. The issue is then bound up in your second question: How do you get a non-participant to come on board? There is a generic answer of how to cope with such behavior constructively; however, each situation hinges on the task and composition of its team. Therefore, analysis of your situation entails first-hand knowledge of the history of your team and the rewards that come from working together effectively and/or penalties for not.

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