Question: I’m 29 years old, in a long term relationship. My supervisor is a few years older than me, also in a relationship. We’ve worked together for quite a while now. Over time, after working directly with him on my shift, and slowly getting to know him, I’ve found myself caring about him more than I would normally care. Also, I found myself slowly attracted to him because we share many similar interests and get along well. I noticed my feelings for him after realizing I blush around him and get shy.
Question to Ask the Workplace Doctors about being attracted to one’s boss:
Hey so I don’t typically do this but I could really use advice and I hope I won’t be judged for feeling the way I do..
SO.. a couple months ago I started a new job. I am a openly gay male btw. So I was hired and I loved the job ( I’m a restaurant server). I’ve been doing everything that has been asked of me and not to toot my own horn but I’m a GREAT server. So to speed things up My GM at my store is gay as well but more discreet about it. I had my eye on him when I first saw him (my second interview), but assumed he was straight and of course my potential boss so i didn’t think anything more. a couple days later I saw him on jack’d. Once i got the confirmation he was gay. I started crushing on him. Noo.. I didn’t bring it up at work that I saw him or even message him. As I worked with him more though the interest i had in him started to grow.
Question: I really like my boss. He is super nice and funny and when he is around me, he makes me laugh like crazy! He makes me smile 24/7. I really care about him and his feelings.
He recently broke up with his girlfriend after they had a huge fight. I asked him if everything was okay and he seemed really down, so I tried to talk to him and he seemed a little bit better. I wanted him to be happy, so I asked him what he wanted most and he answered ”A K-Bar”. It’s a type of knife. So, one day I looked on Amazon and bought it for him. When I went to work and gave him the gift he was the happiest Man Alive! I had never seen so much joy and happiness on his face!!
A question to Ask the Workplace Doctor about
romantic feelings for the boss.
Should I stay at a workplace where I’m deeply in love with my manager? I’ve been here for 2 years and since I first saw my manager for my first interview, I instantly fell in love.
Obviously, I got the job and have excelled in the position assisting her because I always want her to be happy and because of it will definitely lead to promotions. However, it really seriously bothers me feeling this way and doesn’t seem she’s into me that way and as she usually keeps relationships within the workplace professional as she has a kid and has a mortgage to pay all by herself.
Question: Why do women flirt???
Response: Your question was brief. The three question marks you placed after your question, appear to indicate frustration over the subject! Our focus is on workplace communication issues. However, on the chance that you are perplexed about the behavior of women (or one specific woman) where you work, I’ll share a few thoughts. If you have a specific work situation in mind and want to provide further details, let us know.
Flirting is behaving toward another person in a way that could be interpreted as indicating attraction. Like a bird ruffling its feathers in the direction of a potential mate. However, with people—men or women—flirting comments or behavior may not indicate serious interest at all. Often it is intended only to get a similarly flirtatious response, usually for short-term amusement and sometimes to see if anything more serious develops.
I recently found out my husband was having an affair with a “friend” and coworker of mine. All three of us work for the same company in different departments and different buildings. However, this week, the other woman shows up in my office and is now working in my department. Is there anything I can do to get moved to a new department with out jeopardizing anyone’s employment? I don’t want to bring this painful personal issue to my work place but I cannot go to the office every day and see her.
A question to Ask the Workplace Doctors about whether or not an employer would fire two people who are having an affair.
My husband was recently promoted to a high level manager’s position in an industrial plant. He was placed on what is called a hiring panel with the HR manager to recruit and hire new employees. The HR manager is also married.
Shortly after working together and her sending many inappropriate text messages to him all hours of the day/night, he began the affair with her. She recently put him in for a company recognition award which he got.
Question to Ask the Workplace Doctors about boss and new associate’s growing friendship:
Hello Doctors – I am a mid-level manager for a small department within a large organization. My department has another associate who just started a couple of weeks ago. I haven’t determined whether she’s aware of her growing friendship with my boss, but it’s only a matter of time. We can work relatively independently, though regular interaction is beneficial for the productivity of the group. I have an uncomfortable problem.
A Question to Ask the Workplace Doctors about whether or not to contact the employer of the woman with whom her husband had an affair.
My husband has admitted to having an affair with a woman who began contacting him through his work email via her work email. They work at two separate companies. My husband has since ended the relationship and confessed of inappropriate talk and exchanging pictures (all photos were exchanged over text so this would not pertain to my question) with the woman who was separated from her husband but their divorce was not finalized.
A question to Ask the Workplace Doctors wondering
whether or not to reveal a crush on a manager.
I am a man who works in a family-owned wholesale company, outside of the United States. The husband is our General Manager. The wife is our Administration group manager and I am the business development manager. I have worked here for 4 years. Things seem to be developing like you read about only on the Internet–on how your boss man or lady is attracted to you.
Last year I started having problems with my marriage, but I did not see a counselor. My group manager saw that my performance dropped during that time and asked about it and I openly told her my problems. Ever since then, I have noticed my feelings growing for her. She does a lot for me–extra favors and extra money, which I reimburse. She has me assist her family, such as taking her Dad to see the doctor, because her husband is so busy as the GM.