Co-workers Are Trying To Get Rid Of Me!

Question:

I am doing accounting job. There are three other girls in the accounting office except me. I work so hard. And I do anything I can. I always say” no problem” and always finish anything earlier than others. So my manager gave me “excellence award” in last December. Other girls are jealous of me. And they thought I have been treated better. So many times they tried to get rid of me. Half year ago, one of them told my manager that I complained about my salary. But I never did. Last month two girls told my boss that I read her personal Email when she went to lunch. I didn’t even know what Email she was talking about. Today that girl told my boss that others have deleted one of her spreadsheet and only accounting staff can access that file. I tried to get away from trouble. But they can’t leave me alone. They told everyone in the company I was so rude to them. But only thing I did is doing my work and talk nothing to them. I really want to sue them to ruin my reputation. Can I do that? Who can help me? Thanks!

Signed,

No Problem –Excellent


Answer:

Dear┬áNo Problem –Excellent:

What can you do if co-workers lie about you to your boss? You don’t say what you have done. Did you speak with your boss to say that the things that have been said about you are false? And have you spoken with those whom you think told those lies? Nor do you say how you learned that your co-workers have told lies, said you are rude, and want to get rid of you? Who told you about this? Your boss?

If it was your boss, what did he/she say to you? I think if I were a boss and one co-worker came to me with such information about another, I would investigate. I would bring both the accuser and the accused together to learn the truth. If it was impossible to know the truth, I would insist that no such gossip be brought to me without proof and I would inform both co-workers that they must put their differences aside and work cooperatively. Did your boss do that?

Why do you think your co-workers have said these things? And why do they say you are rude? Possibly they are jealous of you. Possibly they think you work so hard that the amount they do is inadequate. Possibly they are jealous of you because you are more attractive than are they. Possibly, they are prejudiced. Possibly, they find that by making you look bad they look better. You see, what I am suggesting is that there are many possible reasons why. So you have a choice: to can simply wonder why and complain to your family and friends outside of work about being mistreated or you can assert yourself to learn why and if possible see what you might do to sweeten a sour working relationship.

If you choose to confront your co-workers, you can do so with them alone or you can ask help from your boss or Human Resources. In such a session, you need to spill out how you feel they are trying to get rid of you and to ask if you have done things to offend them? You need to apologize if you have and to ask what you should do differently. Then schedule a time a week of two later to learn if they think you are behaving more to their liking–perhaps speaking to them instead of withdrawing and keeping to yourself or perhaps asking if there is anything you might do to make their jobs more effective and easier.

Also you might speak to your boss and ask her/him to schedule staff meetings that might transform your antagonistic working relationship with co-workers to one that is cooperative. Regular staff meetings can change a work group into a working team. How? By focusing the work group on pleasing their customers, cutting wasted supplies, time and effort, by finding innovative ways to do their jobs more effectively, and by working harmoniously and even having fun on the job. A boss that sees her/himself as a coach will have regular team meetings that review and applaud what has been going well and engage the team in finding what might be done to make their jobs more effective and work more satisfying.

In short, you can tell you boss how unhappy you are because you don’t feel accepted and that you would want to be. And that you will do your best to do your job well but would appreciate whatever she/he will do to create a more harmonious atmosphere. Bosses can make it clear to those they manager that they expect civility, respect, and cooperation. Has your boss done that? Has your boss called your work group together to work as a team? If not, this is something you can suggest. Perhaps you will want to show him the e-mail you wrote the Workplace Doctors and our reply and advice.

Work is hard enough without gossip and lies. Your boss should see that they stop and she/he should knock heads together if necessary to insist that you work together cooperatively.

Our signature WEGO symbolizes the spirit that of a good place to work for and in. Will you keep me posted on what you choose to do and what does or doesn’t work?

William Gorden