In love with my collegue.

Question:

Hello,

I am in love with one of my collegue.I worked with him in my last assignment.I fell in love with him only after i left that assignment.Now he’s in a different building.So i dont get to see him.But i still like him a lot. But i dont know whether he likes me or not.I feel he doesn’t. But i saw in orkut that he’s written a testimonial for a gal.So i felt that he likes her.Now i dont know what to do. whether to leave him off or not.But i am in love with him so much that i cant forget him.Every day and night his thoughts come into my mind. Please help me out in overcoming this.and suggest me what do i need to do.what would be better.

Signed,

In Love


Answer:

DearĀ In Love:

We offer workplace communication’s advice, not romantic advice, but I can give you some advice anyway! 1. In answer to your wondering about whether or not this man cares for you romantically: I’m sorry to say that it’s almost certain he doesn’t.

If he liked you a lot or loved you, he would be contacting you to see you, because he would miss you too much to stay away. It’s sad but true that often we find something in someone else to love, but they don’t love us back. It’s not your fault and not his fault, he just don’t feel the same way you do. There may be someone in your life who liked you more than you liked him, and you can remember how you felt about that.

2. You could contact him in a friendly way to chat and see what he does. If he follows up on it right away, something may develop. If he stalls on it or says he will contact you, but then doesn’t, you will know the truth. And, as the Bonnie Raitt song goes, “I Can’t Make You Love Me If You Don’t.” 3. If he doesn’t love you, don’t try to talk him into it, or keep trying to stay in touch. It will embarrass him and he’ll avoid you like the plague! You won’t even be able to have a friendship. There is nothing worse than having someone you don’t love be desperately in love with you!

4. There are two things that will help you: Time, and replacing your thoughts of him with thoughts about something or someone else. One of the best things is to concentrate on improving yourself just because you want to do it. Make time every day for exercise, healthy eating and a healthy lifestyle. Read better books and read more of them. Find friends you can enjoy and even though it isn’t the same as being with your heartthrob, try to have fun.

And, of course, the best way to get over someone is to find someone else! I have talked with women and men who told me they couldn’t live without so and so. Then one day someone new came into their live’s and when I mentioned the former big love they said, “Who? Oh, I’m over that!”

If you really think you are having a problem with this, talk to someone you respect and trust, about how you could move forward in your life. But only do it if you intend to actually move forward. Don’t do it just to allow you to talk about the situation as a substitute for the real thing.

Best wishes with this! It’s a miserable feeling, I’m sure, and it will take some time and effort on your part to get over it.

Tina Lewis Rowe