Question to Ask the Workplace Doctors about cheating business partner: She s having an affair with my husband’s business partner who is married. This woman is ruining my life. Business hours now are based on their love life and social life.
My husband and his business partner run a successful business. My problem is with their office administrator and my husband’s business partner. She s having an affair with my husband’s business partner who is married. This woman is ruining my life. Business hours now are based on their love life and social life. The business partner starts calling on his cell phone when leaving her home on his way home to find out about what he has missed out on during the afternoon (they don’t work from lunchtime till he leaves her house which is about 6-ish at night) and then calls from his home and starts playing catch-up during the evening. That is when the ‘conference calls’ start with the business partner and my husband and sometimes their office administrator. The three of them work together and then go on business trips together and I am feeling quite left out.
She (O.A.) does not have children at home and he (B.P) and his wife did not have kids. I have recently heard about and seen some e-mails she has even sent my husband. Some of them are of their receptionist with a few buttons undone at the top showing her cleavage and this upsets me. She has also forwarded e-mails of the receptionist in a bikini to my husband. She has told him about her new personal rainier and how “hot “she is and that my husband should see her body (she has recently moved into our neighborhood and joined my gym).
She has gone out of her way to be beyond rude and I feel like I have no recourse, as she is their O.A. and his B.P.’s mistress. I recently heard from a friend of mine that she has suggested that my husband would have more fun with her and his B.P. if he stayed an extra night (instead of staying at home with me), as she would make it quite worthwhile for him, as he needed to have a little fun and some excitement. When I confront my husband, he says I should feel sorry for her as she does not sleep with the B.P. at night but will always be 2nd choice. I feel like I am 2nd choice as their love life comes before mine. I can’t take every afternoon off as I have children to occupy and house to keep. I feel like I am at wits end. Any suggestions. P.S. I have sent her flowers on he birthday and cards and gifts at Christmas too, just to be nice and show some manners but 2 days ago on my birthday, neither his B.P. or she even acknowledged it and I know they knew as I overheard my husband say what we were planning to do for my birthday…really feel like I am the third wheel to my husband and his B.P. and the O.A.
Signed, Boss’s Wife
Dear Boss’s Wife:
Your concerns are justified. Partnerships are risky ventures. If one partner cheats or slacks off on his/her job, the other partner suffers. From what you tell us, your husband’s partner is cheating on his wife and slacking off on his job. Moreover, his partner is playing with Ms. Firecracker, who should the romance go sour, could charge sexual harassment. This story is not just a matter of you feeling out of it. Rather it is a matter that your husband ought to force his partner to honestly confront. They need to solve this together because his cheating is not just a personal choice in which Ms. Firecracker is second fiddle. This is my immediate advice. I will share your query with another of our guest respondents and send you his advice when and if it comes.–Bill Gorden
The Workplace Doctors Partnerships are interdependent and at risk when one or the other cheats. Honesty is the basis for WEGO workplaces.
Second Opinion: In addition to my advice, I shared your question with our guest respondent Dr. Ed Hollenberg, M.D. and author of Powerful Partnering. His remarks conform to those I sent you: Dear Boss’s Wife: You and your husband have sat on a powder keg too long. To keep such a seductress is a business relationship is to blow the business out of the waters. You need to get things straight and your husband needs to set his priorities and relationships on solid ground. You both need to take a good look at your own relationships.Then you need to get rid of the seductress. She is going to ruin two marriages and the business while she goes on unaware of her own insecurity and divisive roles. She needs professional help and another job. You made a big mistake trying to send flowers and cards just to be nice. You will not regain your self-esteem or your husbands respect as long as you are playing along with her games. Dr ED
Do keep us posted on how you and your husband and partner resolve this situation. Others can learn from you. The Workplace Doctors
Ed Hollenberg, M.D.