Co-Workers Say My Boss Has a Crush On Me

Question:
Other employees think my boss has a crush on me. They say he stares at me. A few months ago they said he was following me with his eyes. He is corporate and only there for a short period of time. He is married and I am involved with someone.

Answer:
You have one of those situations where it is better to leave things as they are, rather than trying to find out if your boss is attracted to you—or if he has a crush on you (which is a different thing). If he is an executive or closely aligned with corporate management, he could lose his job or at least lose his reputation, if it was thought he was having a relationship at work. That could lead to the loss of his marriage as well.

You could also lose your reputation and even potentially your job, if it was thought you were trying to tempt your boss into getting involved or were gossiping about him in a way that could harm his reputation.

Even if none of those negative things happened, attempting to find out your boss’s feelings could result in a lot of embarrassment for both of you, especially for you.

If you think your boss is behaving inappropriately by staring at you excessively or following you around, you could make a formal complaint to HR about it. However, it doesn’t sound as though he is being offensive or inappropriate. You certainly do not want to accuse him of something, based only on the comments of coworkers.

You say your boss is married and you are involved with someone, so neither of you are available for a relationship. He is part of corporate and you are not, which means there are probably rules prohibiting a relationship. The bottom line is that there is not even a slight chance of a good result if the remarks of your coworkers gets to your boss. It will be much worse if the remarks of your coworkers reaches the ears of your boss’s boss. Your coworkers probably think it’s fun to tease you or report what they think they observe, but you should ask them to stop doing it. Don’t respond to them if they try to talk to you about it. Put your focus on work, being valuable to your company and building your career. Let this time become a memory that brings smiles in the future.

Best wishes to you as you move forward at work!

Tina Rowe
Ask the Workplace Doctors