Accused by Manager of Having Affair With the Boss

Question to Ask the Workplace Doctors about of an affair with the boss: We are smoking buddies and are always together during the break time.

I have a very good relationship with my boss. We are smoking buddies and are always together during the break time. Other than that we have no additional relationship between us.A week ago my manager accused me of having an affair with my boss. She asked me about us in a very offensive way and she sounded like she was sure I would admit that our relationship is beyond an employer and employee relationship. I’m now having a very hard time coping with her accusation. I feel very offended and I now realize that my coworkers are talking behind my back. What should I do?

Signed, Accused

Dear Accused:

This is a strong accusation that involves not just you but a much higher level executive. You should let him know of the accusation, because it could have an impact on his career as well. When you tell him about it, let him know that you would like to have this handled in a way that would clear both of your names formally.I think when you bring this accusation to the executive’s attention, you’ll get more action about it than if you went to your manager. Or, you could consider going to Human Resources or Personnel and tell them of your concerns and how embarrassing this is. They may think your manager was wrong to approach you in that way and may do something about it.

In the meantime, consider limiting your smoking time with your boss to avoid the appearance of wrong doing. It does look strange to be with the same person on every break, smoking or not. But also keep in mind that if nothing more is involved the suspicions will eventually go away. Don’t talk about the allegations to coworkers, since that might just get more rumors started.

Instead, focus on work and either let the executive handle the situation with your manager or just let time take care of the rumors and speculation, knowing that you have done nothing wrong.Best wishes with this situation. If you have the time and wish to do so, let us know what happens.

Tina Lewis Rowe

Tina Lewis Rowe

Tina had a thirty-three year career in law enforcement, serving with the Denver Police Department from 1969-1994 and was the Presidential United States Marshal for Colorado from 1994-2002. She provides training to law enforcement organizations and private sector groups and does conference presentations related to leadership, workplace communications and customized topics. Her style is inspirational with humor.