Accused of Having a Bad Attitude.

Question to Ask the Workplace Doctors about performance based on attitude.

My supervisor gave me my evaluation form to fill in for my mid-year review; I made some comments on there about him saying I didn’t think he was any good. Now he is accusing me of having a bad attitude, which has only come up with. I was going to speak to my manager but don’t know if it’s more trouble than it’s worth or should I apologize to my supervisor and just get on with it.

Signed, Confront Him or Apologize?

Dear Confront Him or Apologize?:

After reading your question several times, I made a few changes. I hope you think that it now says what you wanted to say. Evaluations are too often uncomfortable. Your supervisor apparently invited you to evaluate yourself, hoping that would release him from having to grade you, but now he feels you over-reached in evaluating him.

Consequently you now feel threatened. That has led me to ask: Might there be a choice somewhere between confrontation and apologizing, such as a frank discussion about how you and he might work together better? As you describe your situation your boss thinks you are critical of him and you think he is critical of you. Might you both need to put your cards on the table? Ask to speak with him privately. Say you regret that he feels you think he is “no good” and you also regret that he feels you have a “bad attitude”. It’s time to talk about what you’ve done or not done to cause him to feel that way.

This should evolve into more constructive talk about how you might make each others’ jobs more effective and easier?To prepare for such a time-out talk, you might spend a few moments looking into the mirror. What do you see about yourself? Are you a responsible employee who comes to work early and doesn’t rush out the door at closing time? Do you complete assignments on time? Do you complain about them? Do you badmouth your supervisor to coworkers? Have you made suggestions about how to cut waste; wasted supplies, wasted time, wasted energy, and wasted money? Do you like your job? Is it just a job or is it one that leads to a career path? Get my point? If you look in the mirror honestly, you should be better able to talk with him about why he says you think he’s no good and he says you have a bad attitude.Getting along with one’s boss has a lot to do with attitude. A boss can feel it if you see him as one who polices what you do and that you see him as an enemy.

To be sure some bosses are bad and if that is true of yours, you have some options; to bite your tongue or to help him manage you more effectively.So this is the way from afar that I see your situation. Apologizing just to get on with it is not productive. Neither is it productive to tell him he has reacted negatively to you because of what you wrote in your own performance review. What he wants and will be best is for you both to come to a meeting of minds about how you and he might work together so that each makes the other look good. That is what is meant by my signature sentence: Working together with hands, head, and heart takes and makes big WEGOS. Feel free to accept these thoughts or reject them. You, of course, know your situation better than someone from afar.

William Gorden