What Should I Do About the Crush I Have On My Boss?

Question:
I don’t feel this way about anybody else. I tried to be with someone else and no sparks. When I hear my boss’s voice at work I’m in awe! He’s the boss of everyone else. My normal manager is just my manager, but my boss is a leader to everyone. He’s not married, but he does have children and it sounds like he’s a great Dad.

He treats me with respect as I’m sure he has to treat everyone with respect. When I hear his voice it’s like nothing else matters. He probably isn’t even interested in me! I just don’t know how to get over the infatuation!

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Doesn’t It Seem Unfair That My Wife Was Fired?

Question:
My wife loves her (former) job and has great rapport with all the nurses and doctors at her location. The employer deals with outpatient procedures and has multiple locations. She trains all new staff and has made several referrals that have all worked out for the company.

But today, she just got fired for spreading rumors. It started more than a year ago when she noticed two doctors she works with being overly friendly and suspected a relationship. Both doctors have spouses. She is very good friends with one of the doctors (Doctor Y) so she asked him directly if there was something ‘there’. The doctor confirmed but then backed walked when he realized how direct he had been, but also followed up that he’d never let it get too far. They discussed this relationship for a while.

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What If I Can’t Do A Task I’ve Been Given?

Question:
I feel scared about a new task delegated to me. I don’t know how to do it and I am not sure if I want to do it. But it’s my job and I can’t lose my job. What should I do?

Answer:
An effective supervisor or manager will not delegate a task that an employee has not been trained to do, has not done correctly in the past, or cannot easily learn to do. It may be that your supervisor did not follow that important rule. Or, it may be that even if you do not know exactly how to do the new task, your supervisor thinks you should or could be able to learn to do it easily. Your boss may have more confidence in you than you do!

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Was A Long-Ago Event An Assault?

Question:
I have been in my present job thirty-two years. I started my job when I was 18 or 19. There was a coworker who bullied me for over ten years! One time he grabbed me by neck and by my trousers and threw me nearly head first into a van ,where we were loading food. I felt very upset at the time but didn’t show it. The co-worker retired many years ago. Is that classed as an assault?

Answer:
Whatever the reason for your coworker’s actions, it sounds as though he was older than you, which would have made his actions seem even more threatening, since you probably had been on the job less time. 

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I’ve Been Blackballed And Can’t Get A Job

Question:
I cannot find a job in nursing being an RN. There are many jobs but I cannot get hired in my own city and I can’t get an explanation why. How do I get off the blackball list? What should I do?

Answer:
It sounds as though your situation involves much more than we can help you with in a casual response, so I suggest the following: 

1.  Talk to someone closer to you who knows you and your situation. You need to be able to talk about the background of your work problems and what has brought you to your current state of feeling black-balled. 

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Co-Worker Spreading Lies About Me

Question:
I have been at the same job for 20 years. New management took over and said they want to keep me and that they needed me. However, we have a young girl who started with them and obviously wants me gone. She talks about me daily turning others against me. Spreading terrible lies.

When they first come in a few months ago I did everything humanly possible to help them make their transition especially since I already knew them and didn’t have a problem with them . My years and experience made this girl jealous and that’s when she started. It has gotten way out of hand. There isn’t a day that goes by that she don’t slander and spread rumors to others.

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Coworker Critiques Make Me Cringe

Question: I at times have to work with a coworker who makes me feel uncomfortable in what may seem an odd way. She always calls me out on things I do that my normal shift partner does not comment on or say is actually wrong. She questions some things I do, and I have to say I didn’t feel comfortable doing whatever it was for whatever reason, and I always feel like I do something wrong.

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When Can I Assume I’m Unemployed?

Question: My boss is ignoring my emails, calls and text messages. I work a “flex” schedule, meaning I get a new schedule before my current assignment ends. I have been working 72 hours or more every week for about two and a half months, but the current assignment is set to end in less than a week and I have not received a new schedule yet, although I’ve asked for one.

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Can Bosses Yell But Employees Can’t?

Question: I raised a tone of voice to the finance manager over the phone. We had a quarterly report which I make in a system and then submit it to her. She said she doesn’t see it and I checked again if it is submitted. It was submitted and I told her that there is nothing else I can do as my part is done, and she should ask IT help to see the submission, and I am leaving. I left the office.

Later she called me yelling at me that I left, and I yelled back at her saying it is not my fault. On the next day, the General manager called me and gave me the last warning for raising a tone of voice to the Finance manager who is above my level.

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Was My Colleague’s Comment an Insult?

Question: I am a project manager at a small, extremely busy advertising firm. One of our clients has direct communication with the creative director, completely bypassing me. This coworker posted conflicting information about a very large project. I asked him about the scope and due date and he told me to “just sit tight”. To me that is something you say to an anxious 8 year old child and not to a coworker who is just trying to do their job. This person regularly makes off-color comments but this response was directed specifically to me. Thoughts?

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