Should I Call My Partner’s Office?

Question: Me and my partner are not married. I am 6 months pregnant. In the first quarter of my pregnancy I found out that he was cheating on me and abandoned me during my pregnancy. Can I call his office and complain about him regarding what he did?

Answer: You must surely be going through some very difficult emotional and physical times right now. I hope you have family to support you, and I sincerely urge you to talk to your physician about other resources that can help you through your pregnancy and into a happy life with your baby. You should also seek legal assistance related to child support. Do it now, rather than waiting until the baby is born, because you will have expenses and need extra help before birth, if the baby’s father has left you on your own. If you are unsure about how to proceed, talk to the Social Services program of your county or state and see if they offer assistance.

read more

I Thought I Was On Mute! Now What?

Question: I was on a Skype departmental call and didn’t realize it was unmuted. I was under pressure to get a lot done before the Christmas break. I swore at a message I was reading (I said shut the eff up) and the manager speaking on the call thought it was directed to him. He asked who said that? I felt so embarrassed and so in fear that I kept silent. I planned to tell him the next day but he was telling the story to others. He told a co-worker that he wished the director was on the call. Definitely the comment was not directed at him.

read more

How Can I Politely Let Customers Know I Can’t Help Them?

A question to Ask the Workplace Doctors about how to handle calls for assistance that aren’t really part of the work.

Question: A couple of months ago I got a new job as a system design architect. That is basically a fancy way of saying that I install smart home technology and audio systems. We put in a lot of Televisions for home theaters and there are a lot of people that believe we are like TV repairmen.

read more

Why Should I Step Back After Doing The Work?

A question to Ask the Workplace Doctors about how to respond to being shut out on a project after doing all of the foundational work.

I’ve led the development of an application from project conception to many successful deployments in my department while also actively working as senior programmer. I’ve had the support and respect of the project leadership and sponsors from the beginning. However, over the years another team in another department attempted to develop the exact same application and failed many times. I have now been asked to collaborate with this team, and was told by my manager that the team will now take over the project going forward.

read more

What Is Indirect Counseling?

Question: What is the meaning of indirect counseling?

Is your question prompted by some incident in which you were told that you were being counseled this way? Our expertise is in communication-related work questions. We don’t claim psychological clinical certification; however, we have had considerable education in psychology. Based on that, the term indirect counseling dates back to the  work of Carl Rogers and others (1950’s) who advocated that those seeking personal advice are best served by not being told how to solve their problems but guided to reflect on causes and possible solutions to problems. 

read more

What Can I Do If I Think I’m Being Blackballed By An Employer?

Question to Ask the Workplace Doctors: I believe I’ve been blackballed by an employer. It stems from taking a test that I had to pass and I didn’t pass it. (Test taking anxiety. ) They wouldn’t let me take it again. I applied for another job with a company that is under the same contract as the manager of the first company, and they said I was not eligible for hire. Is there any course of action I can take? Or just make sure I avoid this employer?

read more

Micromanaged and Overworked: What Can I Do?

Question to Ask the Workplace Doctors: I am the Head of Operations at a hospital and the pressure is as imagined. This administrative role involves ensuring the business and process end of the Organization is in form. I am also in charge of business development for the Hospital.

I have been burdened with a checklist which the Medical Director demands to see everyday (this is because I have not been diligent with it). The problem is this checklist is not completed through a reported format. It involves me directly unearthing a thousand and one possible process errors committed by any of our medical and non-medical staff in the previous day – from billing to drug request process errors. By the time, I get through correcting things and informing Department Heads, the day is almost gone.

read more

How Can I Stop an Affair With My Boss?

Note: This was a very complex situation. We have changed and condensed the question considerably, to protect the identity of the person asking the question. However, we thought our response would be helpful to others.

Question: Several years ago, as a very young employee, I was going through some personal issues and my boss, who is twice my age, helped me work through them. The result was that we became close and have been in an affair since then. Now, however, I want to end it so I can start having a normal life with friends and people my own age. I’m also tired of juggling my schedule to have stolen moments.

read more