Boss Makes Me Feel Badly Every Day

Question to Ask the Workplace Doctors about boss who pressures an employee to resign:

I am a widow and work for a lady boss. She gives me instructions while shouting, and when I ask for permission to take my daughter to school once in a while, she tells me that I need to let her go on her own. But, she is still young. My boss tells me that I am an hindrance to her getting to heaven and when she sees me, she feels like crying. That I am suddenly like her boss. I am submissive and I respect authority, but she keeps asking me to resign. I am the sole bread winner. Lately, I am beginning to feel so frustrated and stressed. Pleased advise.

Signed, Not Wanted

Dear Not Wanted:

I think you are not living and working in the United States, so the cultural issues where you work may make a difference in all of this situation. It sounds as though you will need to decide how much you want to tolerate before you leave or try to find someone there at work who will help you. Normally we would tell an employee to communicate with the boss and ask for a different kind of treatment–with the implication that you will quit otherwise and she will lose a good employee. But in your case, your boss hopes you WILL resign! So really, you only have three options. 1.) Quit and find some place where you are treated decently. 2.) Go higher than the boss and try to get some help in dealing with her unreasonable demands and remarks. 3.) Decide you want the job so badly you will put up with the treatment. It sounds as though she is not talking about firing you, only about hoping you’ll leave on your own.

There are a lot of details you didn’t include that would explain this a bit better. But, if your boss is the highest level in the company there is probably nothing you can do to change her. If she isn’t the highest level you should certainly go over her head and tell someone higher what is happening.Whatever the case, surely there is work available for you where you won’t be treated in a way that makes you feel so badly. Speak up for yourself and see if you can stop being submissive when your well-being is at stake.

Talk to friends, relatives, or someone else you respect and ask for their advice and assistance. They would know you and your personal situation.Best wishes to you with this matter.

Tina Lewis Rowe

Tina Lewis Rowe

Tina had a thirty-three year career in law enforcement, serving with the Denver Police Department from 1969-1994 and was the Presidential United States Marshal for Colorado from 1994-2002. She provides training to law enforcement organizations and private sector groups and does conference presentations related to leadership, workplace communications and customized topics. Her style is inspirational with humor.