Can I Report My Husband’s Online Activities to His HR?

Question: My husband is cheating on me. I found he has been having online sex with a foreign woman. They are planing to move together.

More over, He had sex with this woman online video during work hours in his office.

Can I report my husband affair to his HR?

Response: Thank you for sharing your frustrating and hurtful situation with us. It sounds as though you will be much better off to not have him in your life!

Yes, you could report this to his HR, since you suspect he did something that would be a serious violations of the company’s rules.  If he was going to be staying there and is in a position of trust within the company, it is the ethical thing for you to do. The company would certainly want to know about an employee who was involved in such gross practices in their workplace, since it might be a sign of other sexual deviance.

But if, as you believe, he intends to move with the other woman, it might not make a difference to his job, but a big difference to your financial and personal relationship with him.

If you report him, some kind of investigation will take place and his computer logs will be examined. If he is told about the investigation, he will guess who reported him. That could make him angry enough to change his plans for financial settlements and other issues related to a divorce or separation. It may also make him or his girlfriend angry enough they might threaten you or cause you harm in some way—perhaps physically or by creating problems for you and YOUR work,  in retaliation. If you two have children together, or shared friends between your families, those relationships might be damaged as well.

I am especially concerned about revenge he and the other woman might plot. They have already shown themselves to be off-kilter with their relationship and I worry about what one or both might do if they think you have created problems for either of them.

If you don’t talk to an attorney, at least talk about this with someone you trust who knows both of you and knows your current situation better than we do.

Best wishes to you with this very upsetting situation. If you have the time and wish to do so, let us know how this works out.

Tina Rowe
Ask the Workplace Doctors

Tina Lewis Rowe

Tina had a thirty-three year career in law enforcement, serving with the Denver Police Department from 1969-1994 and was the Presidential United States Marshal for Colorado from 1994-2002. She provides training to law enforcement organizations and private sector groups and does conference presentations related to leadership, workplace communications and customized topics. Her style is inspirational with humor.