A very long time ago when the comptroller (at the office where I worked) was fired, the VP of the company asked me if I thought he was having an affair, because of what was found in the comptroller’s desk drawer, and if he was, with whom.
Because I didn’t think he would believe the person I suspected, I named another person. Due to being confined to my home during this pandemic, it has weighed on my mind and I would like to send a letter to the VP, who is now the president, not revealing the person, but to relieve me of being tormented and the anxiety I am experiencing.
Help me please. Thank you. Signed–Guilt for Lying
Guilty for Lying:
If I understand what occurred, what you say was a long time ago, you named an innocent person as involved in an affair with a comptroller. You say you did this because “I didn’t think he would believe the person I suspected.”
The Vice President, who sought information from you about the comptroller, apparently didn’t take your accusation seriously and disciplined the innocent individual. So the silence about the whole matter has passed, and because that comptroller was discharged all is well. But all is not well with you. Your conscience says, you did wrong. You lied. You accused an innocent person.
You know that the V.P. to whom you lied, who is now President, should you send a letter stating you named an innocent person, might ask you who you suspected. And your question to us, implies you don’t want to name that person. Therefore, you should be ready and willing to answer should he ask with something like, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the person I thought was involved. I simply should have said I don’t want to name anyone. I did wrong once and to name someone now would be another wrong.”
I shared your question with Danica Rice, an individual with much work experience and who heads a Human Resource Department. Danica said, “It’s a touchy situation for me to comment on. The employee that’s tormented by falsely accusing someone else for the affair should feel bad. If they were not comfortable naming the correct person then they should have simply said just that. I’m not sure a letter would correct the issue because I’m not sure how much time has passed and there wasn’t enough information to go on. This situation isn’t work related in nature from what I read, which again makes it difficult to offer more advice.clearcut advice. Her confusion should be that she was not truthful about the person she initially disclosed and that she shouldn’t have involved herself. If the VP suspected any foul play of any kind then he/she should have investigated the situation or had HR do so. Furthermore, was this work related? If not, why was it brought into the workplace in the first place? The VP’s inquiry seems suspect to me, but again I have a feeling there is a significant amount of this story that is missing.”
Danica Rice’s advice does not provide explicit advice. Nor do I. You weighed this guilt you have felt for some months and you must take responsibility for doing or not doing what you believe is right. Please feel free to follow up our response to your question informing us of what you determine to do and how it works for your conscience and working relationships. Working together with hands, head and heart takes and makes big WEGOS. Doing what is right is what matters. -William Gorden