Husband Barred From Bar

Question to Ask the Workplace Doctors about presence of husband at spouse’s workplace:

Can my boss tell me my husband can’t be at the bar while I’m on shift if he is a paying costumer and has come here before I am employed here? I feel like I’m. being discriminated.

Boss Says No To Husband

Dear Boss Says No To Husband:

Barring your husband from the bar while you are on the shift is not discrimination. Most likely it is simply that your boss doesn’t want you favoring him or for spousal interpersonal problems surfacing. It is a local job-specific rule you have to work with if you are to work there. Discrimination is a term that applies to areas such as race, religion, national origin, sex, disability, and possibly physical appearance.

Apparently this is a new job for you and an unexpected problem. I can see why it is a rule that both you and your husband might dislike. But before you accuse your boss of discrimination, consider the problems that might arise if other customers complained you were favoring your spouse. Or the reverse of that, imagine the way your husband might feel if he saw you giving special attention to other customers and overlooking him.

Perhaps, this rule might be relaxed once you have proven yourself in this new job.  For now, can you and your husband adapt to this rule? Can you not allow this to create an attitude that harms your boss-bossed relationship or your spousal relationship? Can you think about the big picture of making your bar a place where everyone knows your name and sees it as hanging out at Cheers?

Life is short and you may be working here for a short time.  It probably is not you career goal to work in a bar, but if it is, don’t let this boss’ rule sour your work. Working together with hands, head, and heart takes and makes big WEGOS. Right? Then right on.