Manager Throwing Me Under The Bus

Question to Ask the Workplace Doctors about money: My manager is very jealous Everybody else in the office sees how she is out to get me in other ways.


My manager is very jealous of my accomplishments at work. She is upset that the doctor has given me multiple raises and trusts me with more and more responsibilities. I have never told my co-workers about my raises, but she told the doctor that I did & that others have said they are unhappy I got raises and they didn’t. Nobody even knows about my raises & if they do they have not heard it from me. What do I do?

Everybody else in the office sees how she is out to get me in other ways. We all made the doctor aware. He’s being very immature and stooping to her level about this. He confronted me about it through a text message, and I told him we need to discuss this at the office the next day not via text. Well the next day he barely spoke a word to me. Barely even looked at me, it was very obvious to others that something was going on. Before this whole ordeal, we were close & talked all the time! Seriously what do I do?

Signed, Something’s Going On

Dear Something’s Going On:

What do you do? For the moment you cool it. What other choice have you? · Square off with your manager telling her she has spread a lie saying you have gossiped about your raises. · Grab the doctor by his stethoscope saying, “You gotta’ believe me. I never told anyone about my raises.” · Ask your co-workers if they know you have been getting raises and who told them? You might think of other options, hopefully more constructive ones.

Possibly it would be wise for you to look in the mirror and asked why this all happened. I suggest this because of the clues you provide: · You assert that your manager is “very jealous” of you. · “She is upset that the doctor has given me multiple raises and trusts me with more and more responsibilities.” · “Everybody else in the office sees how she is out to get me in other ways. We all made the doctor aware.” · The doctor texted you that he is displeased that your raises have become office talk, and replied you and he should talk about this in his office. And you lament that he hardly has spoken to you; whereas, before this ordeal you and he “were close and talked all the time.”

Will the mirror whisper back that there are good reasons that the office manager is jealous and possibly also are your coworkers who told you the manager was out to get you? Will it also help you understand that the doctor now has decided it is best to cut off your and his closeness and talking all the time? Might my recasting what you have described help you see this situation in a different light, a light that shows how your raises and closeness could be perceived as favoritism?

Think for a moment if you were the doctor how he is mulling over having given you multiple raises and not the others and about how he is thinking what would best smooth over the discontent of your office manager. You can’t undo what has been done; however, you can put your head to work. You can think about what it could be like to work in a community of heath care providers.

Analyze how all this might have been prevented and possibly corrected, such as:

1. The doctor manages more as a coach than as a boss.

2. He speaks to all personnel according to the job, not more frequently with one than others. Job descriptions are clarified by the doctor and office manager and possibly by a small committee.

3. He confers with his office manager and possibly with a salary committee to determine pay and raises.

4. He is open about overhead and general personnel matters and engages the staff to become genuine stakeholders in making his practice a profit center, and this might entail profit sharing.

5. The office manager and the doctor hold weekly skull sessions with the staff to collaboratively review what has been working well and ways of improving operations, cutting wasted supplies, wasted time, wasted money and for finding innovative ways to improve the quality of service. Perhaps you will never be able to transform a jealous, dysfunctional practice to a great one, but you can learn from this “ordeal” and so can the doctor.

The time to talk undoubtedly will come if you cool it for a few days and focus on the tasks at hand and being as cooperative and cheerful as possible. Also you might approach your office manager, not in an accusative way, to request a time-out private conversation. You might put your cards on the table, telling her that you think she is out to get you and that you understand how she might have felt that her prerogatives were not considered because of the way you were given raises and more responsibility. Ask if there were things she would like done to work more as a team. You probably won’t be able to plant the seeds of ways the practice in which you work will evolve into a community of health care providers I envision above. But one with vision can make a difference in the way those who work together communicate.

You can change from thinking of enemies to thinking and talking as teammates. You can become a cheerleader rather than a confidant of the doctor. You can think big and better. Think big and better ways to make your practice employee friendly and ways to delight clients. You can plant the seeds of what it might be to work as a team. Do any of these thought make sense? I challenge  you to read more of our Q&As to get a feel for constructive ways to confront ordeals such as yours. Especially study those of associate workplace doctor, Tina Lewis Rowe. Also click her name and you will see the wisdom of her posts on her own site. Please clear your mind of frustrating antagonistic thoughts. Fill it r rather with positive and harmonious ones. Play and replay what it means to apply these few words to your workplace: Working together with hands, head, and heart takes and makes big WEGOS.

William Gorden