Office Gang

Question:

We have an office adminstrator who is also our human resource manager and head of adminstrative staff, she plans these little lunches and happy hours but she only invites certain people. I just don’t think a professional in her position should do that. The thing is in our department there are only 4 ladies and several guys, she and the other two ladies (who are sisters an very mean and unfriendly with me) and a few guys are always going together to lunch. Or going to evening happy hours with who ever they decide to invite. Among them they have formed a gang to rule the office social network. The two sisters have very bad attitude and are very nonprofessional any way, but as a head of HR the adminstrator should not mingle with hem like that! Don’t you agree?

Signed,

Not In The Gang


Answer:

Dear Not In The Gang:

It is obvious that you have a personality clash with your fellow office workers – on a “social” level. Your comments focused on after work hour activities or at least the office “social network.” How is your “work” relationship? If it is acceptable, try transferring some work relationship skills to your social activities. Perhaps your coworkers feel you are a disagreeable person and have purposeful left you out. (???) In that case, you may need to focus on developing friends outside the work place, for social functions. On the other hand, you might want to try to build a sense of caring and friendship in the work place. For example, send a greeting card to coworkers on special occasions, bring a cake/cookies to work to share with the group, suggest a different place for lunch and the treat to be on you, give small birthday gifts to coworkers, etc. This may place you in a different position in the work/social network. If you have good work skills, you might want to offer to perform special projects or extra work assignments for the human resources person. This would help develop a closer/better relationship with you and the HR person. Best of luck.

Gerald Allen