Question to Ask the Workplace Doctors about fear of being fired: I want to be true to myself but I need my much loved job. His bosses love him and barely know me
I feel my boss told his superiors mistruths to fire a subordinate. Now I’m in trouble for going against him. I want to be true to myself but I need my much loved job. His bosses love him and barely know me. What should I do?
Signed, Badmouthed Beloved Boss
Dear Badmouthed Beloved Boss:
In your short description, you don’t disclose how you went against your boss nor do you present evidence that your boss in fact provided misinformation (lies) to justify firing an individual. What is implied is that now you are working scared, afraid that what you have done might adversely affect your job, a job you need and love.
From here, I guess why this all happened hinges on a failure to confront your boss about the uneasiness you felt in the way and why a coworker was fired, and consequently you bypassed him to register a charge that he had employed “mistruths” to justify that. Possibly also you shared your thoughts with others. As I have often said, we have choices before us when we want to prevent bad things from happening and to enable good things to come out of difficult situations.
Let me suggest an exercise: State at the top of a page what you want; to keep a job you need and love. Then divide the rest of the page in two with headings on the left side of the page; Forces Against Me and on the right side, Forces Going For Me. For example: Forces going against you now are what you have done to make your boss lose face. Other negatives, if any, might be in your performance, lack of self-confidence, etc. On the right side of the page, note you length of employment, positive projects completed and good evaluations, you love of this job, ethical conscience and concern for others, courage to speak up in behalf of those without a voice, etc.
Spend some time in thinking of ways to enhance the Forces For You, such as arriving at work earlier, finding ways to cut wasted supplies, time, duplication, energy and money for your company. On the Forces Against generate ways to lessen or detour around those against you such as by facing up to your by-passing your boss, if that is what you did. The past is only past in this case of when you do what you can to clear up what are “mistruths” and when you apologize for talking about someone (your boss) rather than having the courage to speak to him directly.
Most likely you spoke without all the facts because there can be many reasons for firing someone. Once we fear we have lost our good standing, we have a tendency to obsess about it; to play and replay it in our head. That increasingly adversely affects our mood and behavior like a crack and scratch in a recording won’t go away. What can get lost when obsessing is the balance from what brings us joy.
Consider what you might do to mitigate the negatives and accentuate the positives, and meanwhile to appreciate what’s out there of real importance; such as causes for saving our environment, tutoring a child, singing in a choir, and/or participating in a zumba dance class. Get my point? Do what you reasonably can and meanwhile have a life. I hope these thoughts provide a bit of balance for this time of boss/bossed stress. Working together with hands, head, and heart takes and makes big WEGOS, and is not that what you want and must do to save face for you and your boss?