Saying My Supervisor Was a Fu&3ing wa€#er

A question to Ask the Workplace Doctors about badmouthing your supervisor:

So I had a meeting with a condescending supervisor. I got angry and was in the canteen, I wasn’t shouting but I said loudly that the supervisor was a fu&3ing wa€#er. There was another manager around the corner who heard. I’m sure this will go back to my manager. I did apologise to him for the way I behaved. What do I do in this instance? I told my manager I was angry in the canteen. But didn’t tell her what I said.

Signed Apologized

Dear Apologized:

You were smart to apologize for the way you behaved to your manager. You told your manager you were angry but didn’t say exactly what you said in that anger. Now it probably is best that you not spell out the curse words you used to describe how you felt about this supervisor.  So what had you best do now? If I understand what you describe, you didn’t apologize to the supervisor about calling her a fu&3ing wa€#er.

There is no way to mend an insult you made about your supervisor by not apologizing to her and instead by apologizing to your manager. If I misunderstand and you have already apologized to her, you have taken one of the steps I would advise you should take. So I won’t advise you to do that. You ask: What do I do in this instance?

Step 1. Time Out. Taking time to review what you recall provoked your anger is a good place to begin. What probably caused your supervisor to be condescending? Apparently things between you and her have not been harmonious. Right? Why? Is it her or the bigger picture—that the way your work is organized is not clear as to who does what, when and where? And whose fault is that?

Frequently when a supervisor comes across blaming a subordinate when the fault is that job descriptions are not clear and training has not been provided. That is to suggest that Time Out is needed for those involved to get their ducks in a row. If your supervisor blamed you for something done of not done, it is time for straight talk about that. That’s what a coach does when players fail to accomplish a goal. That’s also what smart players do when they goof up or instructions are not clear. Once you have recalled what it was that caused your anger, you are ready to think about what would have prevented that.

Step 2. Next think beyond the one instance. Is the bad feeling you had about your supervisor that provoked your unprintable words about her because of one specific instance? Or is it a pattern of what she assigns, what she assumes, and how she and you communicate? If everything has been running smoothly but this one time, my advice is for you to have a short talk in which you apologize and in which you promise to bite your tongue.

On the other hand, if there is a pattern of things that bug you about her and that she is annoyed about you, it is time of a longer one-on-one in which you two take on the role of investigating what bothers both of you—you two then surface what’s not good and collaboratively see if you can solve that problem.  If you can’t it is time for you to ask for your manager to resolve who does what when and where.

Step 3. Think WEGO. I know such a word as wego likely has no meaning to you. It’s my way of suggesting that you are hired in this particular workplace because those there can’t do it alone. Wego means working together with hands, head, and heart. Wego only happens when those involved talk about how they talk to each other. Talk about talk leads to do and don’t rules about what is said between and about employees and their supervisors. One of the don’t communication rules is: Don’t gossip about others. Another don’t rule is: Don’t cuss out a boss to coworkers or even to yourself (a rule that you broke in this particular instance). One of the do rules is: Do be specific about who’s responsible for and makes assignments. A second do rule is: see the big picture for yourself—what you want to do not just this short time, but in the long run. Talk with your boss about working toward that long range goal of having a good paying job in a great place to work.

The very action of you and your supervisor collaboratively creating a list of do/don’t communication and performance rules pays off in fewer misunderstandings and better working relationships. Please and thank you become more frequent. Cheerleading and celebrating becom more common. Back stabbing and bad mouthing are out of bounds. That’s what I mean when I say, Working together with hands, head, and heart takes and makes big WEGOS.

Does any of this make sense for your particular situation—for the now and for the future? Now you want to correct how badmouthing your supervisor might be achieved. That is possible if you have the courage to apologize directly to her and then to become the kind of employee that makes her job and your coworkers’ jobs easier and more pleasant.

In your future, you want a career, not just a job. That will entail getting the kind of t training necessary and planning. As the saying goes Nobody plans to fail, but they fail because they fail to plan. Think about planning–setting forth your goal of working in a job in which you are doing well as well as doing good. If you make that your goal, you would manage your anger—no badmouthing your boss. You would bite your tongue or talk with your supervisor about what you find is not a respectful way she talks with you or you would speak with your manager about that. You would ask for their help in you making small steps toward you long-range goal.

Another specific thing you would do on your own is to tap into the many resources at your fingertips, For example you would ask: Where are the good places to work for? Or even ask, where are the great places to work?

The answer you will get is:
Racepoint Global Awarded PRWeek’s “Best Places to Work” Three Years in a Row

Business Wire via Yahoo Sports17 hours ago The agency is committed to creating a great corporate culture with great perks for the incredible employees who inspire each other every day. “Creating…culture …

·  Great Place to Work Reviews – Great Rated!

… and get insights and jobs at these Great Workplaces. Company salaries, reviews, … WHAT WOULD MAKE WORK GREAT FOR YOU? GO TO … © 2016 Great Place to Work

·  Home – Great Place To Work United States

Showcase your great workplace culture to attract top talent! Apply once to be eligible for ALL our lists. … Great Place to Work®’s High Trust Culture Consulting

·  100 Best Companies to Work For – Fortune

This year’s 100 Best Companies to Work For list marks Fortune’s 19th year of partnering with Great Place to Work. … for the 100 Best Companies to Work For …

Even try where are the fun places to work? The answer you will get is ·  100 Best Companies to Work For – Fortune

100 Best Companies to Work For. See our methodology and credits. Filter…

… struck me as a fun place to work. Wait, … These are listed as 10 seeeeeriously cool workplaces but i kind of disagree they may look nice and have some ……

May 07, 2013 · The 10 Companies With The Happiest Young Professionals. … the world that “not only enhance work life balance but help make us a fun place to work, …

11 answers

Want to become a firefighter? We have quite a few female firefighters now and there is no discrimination. The women I work with are good at what they do and very dedicated workers. Interested? You can get free training and great pay with…

2 answers

You could work as a candy striper in a hospital. It’s a good way to help people and I want to be a doctor, so I would love to work in a hospital in any way. Hospitals can also have all kinds of fun jobs.

2 answers

It depends on your definition of fun. If you like answering a phone look for a receptionist job. There are usually several businesses that are looking for some kind of receptionist/assistant.

Now I know this lengthy answer is more than you want to know, but really thinking long-term will change the way you talk and act now. Please feel free to disagree. If you do, allow my thoughts to motivate you to find a more constructive answer to your question for the specific situation you are in now. And please send us what you think of this advice.

William Gorden