How Can I End an Affair with a Married Person at Work?

Question:
I have been having an affair with my company’s HR manager off and on for over three years. It’s toxic because she is the one that is married and all actions are dependent on her marriage. If everything is OK at home for her, I’m just a friend. If she and her husband are at odds she wants to engage with me.

I care for her immensely but this has to end. I’m afraid that if I end it she will make sure that there is retaliation. I try to get her to end it but it just continues to be ongoing. It’s a game of cat and mouse. I’m not sure what to do but it has to end. It’s taking a toll on my work performance and my emotional state. What do I do? Please help.

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