How Can I Stop an Affair With My Boss?

Note: This was a very complex situation. We have changed and condensed the question considerably, to protect the identity of the person asking the question. However, we thought our response would be helpful to others.

Question: Several years ago, as a very young employee, I was going through some personal issues and my boss, who is twice my age, helped me work through them. The result was that we became close and have been in an affair since then. Now, however, I want to end it so I can start having a normal life with friends and people my own age. I’m also tired of juggling my schedule to have stolen moments.

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How Can I End an Affair with a Married Person at Work?

Question:
I have been having an affair with my company’s HR manager off and on for over three years. It’s toxic because she is the one that is married and all actions are dependent on her marriage. If everything is OK at home for her, I’m just a friend. If she and her husband are at odds she wants to engage with me.

I care for her immensely but this has to end. I’m afraid that if I end it she will make sure that there is retaliation. I try to get her to end it but it just continues to be ongoing. It’s a game of cat and mouse. I’m not sure what to do but it has to end. It’s taking a toll on my work performance and my emotional state. What do I do? Please help.

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