Tag: affairs

Should I Tell My Boss About Rumors?

Tina Lewis Rowe

Question: 
I was approached by upper management about rumors of a suspected romantic relationship between my boss and his now ex-boss who left the company several weeks ago. Both of the accused are married.

I understand the rumors – they traveled a lot for work, often driving long distances together, and he’s out of the office a lot since his ex-boss is no longer employed by same company. However, there is no evidence at all that anything has happened.

I have been asked specifically if I knew of anything that would incriminate either or if I had anything to share. I honestly don’t. And even being brought into personal affections between two of my coworkers, that I was clueless about beforehand, has really made me uncomfortable.
I am inclined to let it die on its own but what are your thoughts? Do I speak up and let my boss know there are rumors? Do I share the awkward conversation with HR? What’s one to do?

read more

Should Firefighter Coworkers Having an Affair Be Charged with “Conduct Unbecoming”?

Tina Lewis Rowe

Your Question:
My wife and another coworker (Firefighter) not working directly together have been having an affair for the last 1-2 years. I recently confirmed it by getting their text messages and my wife finally admitting to it.

I work for the county government and it should fall into unbecoming of Firefighter. The County uses that when they want to go after an employee for actions done outside the workplace. I submitted the text messages (confirming sexual affair) and my wife is admitting it to them as well as evidence. They responded that this complaint is a private matter. If that is true then they have closed the door on anything anyone does on their time off.

read more

How Can I Get Over Caring About My Boss, If He Wants to End Our Affair?

Tina Lewis Rowe

A question to Ask the Workplace Doctors about
dealing with the emotions of an affair:
How can I stop caring so much? 

Question: 
I have been working at my job for about two years and some way, somehow I ended up having sex with my boss. He and I are married. We have been like this for over a year and I have tried to stop, but my feelings always have me going back to what we had. Neither of us have intentions of leaving our significant other for one another.

Lately my boss has been very distant and I give him his space. I think he knows it’s time to stop. Unfortunately I got attached to him. I don’t know what to do so I can just stop having feelings for him. 

read more

What Can Husband Do When His Wife is Involved With a Supervisor At Their Workplace?

Tina Lewis Rowe

A question to Ask the Workplace Doctors: What recourse does a spouse have
when his or her partner is involved with a supervisor
in the company for which they both work? 

****************************************************************************

Question: My niece works with her husband at a firm (both are employees). She has started an affair with one of the supervisors. What recourse /grievance can my niece’s husband raise with the company?

Response:
It is hurtful on many levels, when a spouse is having an affair—and even more so when the married couple and the third person work for the same company. Apart from the emotions and embarrassment for all involved, it’s bound to have a negative effect on work and the work environment, especially when the relationship is between a supervisor and one who is supervised. Employers are also concerned about accusations of sexual harassment if the subordinate employee later claims coercion. And, nowadays, workplace violence can be the result of such a situation. That’s why employers usually have rules prohibiting such relationships. (Although, such rules don’t seem to have much effect on workplace affairs. People will do what they want to do, in most cases.)

read more