How Do I Deal With My Attraction For My Boss?

Question to Ask the Workplace  Doctors about attraction to boss:

For nearly a year, I have been terrified of my supervisor because I have more than professional feelings for him. We have a good working relationship and I don’t want anything to ruin it, but, every day, I find it hard to hide my feelings. How do I deal?

Signed, More Than Professional

Dear More Than Professional:

It is good that you can differentiate between professional behavior and personal feelings. Now you need to define what communication and action transgress the boundaries that should be maintained between them. It is not uncommon for us to be attracted for someone with whom we work. We are not machines. We have drives and fantasies. We often interpret each others’ verbal and non-verbal acts as interests that go beyond the job. Therefore you are wise to understand those feelings that well up in you.You don’t say if either or both of you have significant others or are married. This fact is information that you should learn if you do not know it now. Nor have you said if you superior has made playful advances that have encouraged your personal feelings for him. However you might respond to those whether your feelings might cross the boundaries of marriage or have been encouraged, your question recognizes that your feelings might “ruin” a good working relationship.

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