Thank you for your advice


Dear Ms. Rowe, I wrote you awhile back about a problem at my work, the question title was I lost my temper now what? I want to thank you for your advice. I could tell you put some thought into your reply and I appreciate it. I did use your suggestions, I organized my thoughts and would not let them smooth the problem over, and the manager agreed to talk to Greg about the fist pounding etc. Greg did stop the behaviors and it was like a dark cloud had lifted! I realized how intimidated I was by his behavior. Able to finally think and concentrate on my job without him acting awful I realized that the problems there go way deeper than unprofessional behavior. For example, they are an aftermarket auto parts store. I sold a customer some expensive brake rotors but our supplier did not have them in stock. Greg asked me to repackage some very cheaply made ones and pass them off to the customer as the expensive ones. I refused, he did not insist and the matter was dropped. At that point I realized that I only wanted out. It is a very small company, no HR department and Greg’s lack of ethics and common sense were disturbing. I wanted to find another job before I left but shortly after that Greg started his muttering and tantrum throwing again. I emailed the manager and was very direct with him about Greg. I told him that Greg did not seem able to handle his position (yes, I found that I did report to him). I also suggested that I report to someone else that was not Greg. The manager actually deleted the message from my sent file while I was at lunch, told his boss that I made too many mistakes and his boss fired me. I considered informing the big boss of what really is going on but you know… it occured to me while I was in his office that I am LUCKY to have been let go. So I said okay and got out of there fast. I am now considering whether or not I should tell them that I got several orders that I did not have a chance to fill before I left, if I don’t call they won’t know and will lose the sales. I could then ask for written references ( I say written references so I have some control over what is said) but I actually feel that they are pretty close to sociopathic and I’m not sure if I want to have any contact with them. You said in one of your responses to me that I might not want to be really drastic with them because it might be a safety issue. I didn’t see it at the time but you were so right…anyway I really do appreciate the advice and thought that you might find my story interesting. Kim


Checking Back


Dear Checking Back:

Thank you for contacting us to let us know what happened. I agree that likely you are much better off being away from that situation. It doesn’t sound as though it would have ever improved very much.

I do think you will feel better about yourself and they will feel better about you, if you let them know about business that is pending. You never know when even a semi-positive reference will be what you need—as opposed to a clearly negative one. And, it would certainly show your character if you follow-through in a situation where others might not.

I would mail or fax the information to them, so you have a record of doing it. And I think I would send it to the person who approved firing you. If you send it to your supervisor the person higher up might never know you did the right thing. It sounds to me as though your immediate boss wanted to cover for Greg, at your expense. So, he may not mind making you look even worse if he has the chance, as a way to verify that your firing was appropriate.

This has been an unnerving experience, I’m sure. I’m glad you had the inner strength to handle it well. That will also allow you to move on and more forward. Best wishes with all of it!

Tina Lewis Rowe

Tina Lewis Rowe

Tina had a thirty-three year career in law enforcement, serving with the Denver Police Department from 1969-1994 and was the Presidential United States Marshal for Colorado from 1994-2002. She provides training to law enforcement organizations and private sector groups and does conference presentations related to leadership, workplace communications and customized topics. Her style is inspirational with humor.