Verbal Abusive, Fit-throwing, Object-throwing Boss

Question to Ask the Workplace Doctors about wild boss:

My boss screams, ignores, kicks doors and throws things. Refuses to answer if I ask how I need to improve on job. I am manager and he is owner of business. He says I know more about his store than he does and that makes him mad. Help!!

Signed, Have a Problem Boss

Dear Have a Problem Boss:

Any boss/owner, who behaves as does yours, lacks self-control. Apparently his behavior toward you has worked for him and it will continue to do so so-long as you and others he targets do as he wishes. You don’t say what you do when he screams, ignores, kicks doors and throws things. I imagine you duck and get out of the way. When he says frog, do you jump?

The question before you is: Are you willing to bite your tongue and continue to be verbally, and possibly physically, hurt by this bully boss? There is little more than I can say if your answer is in the affirmative. Can you change him? Probably not. Our Archive(s) has dozens of Q&As on bad bosses and verbal abuse. Have you scanned them? Also the Bully Bulletin is worth consulting

If you are unwilling to bite your tongue and take bullying, you will need to learn, as does a wife, who is verbally/physically beaten, if your boss can be confronted assertively. If he is agreeable to confront his behavior, you two need to take the time out to put in writing 5 to 10 dos and don’ts of how you communicate. For example, a beginning don’t rule must be: Don’t refuse to answer a question? And you should not think one meeting will fix his outbursts.

You will need to schedule weekly times to review how well he and you are living up to the do and don’t rules. Vote with your feet, if he is not willing to do this. Get a job elsewhere. Work is hard enough without working with a bully. Working should be mutually enriching for both a boss and the bossed. But that does not just happen. It takes courage and continuing communication: Working together with hands, head, and heart takes and makes big WEGOS.

William Gorden