What should I do?

Question to Ask the Workplace Doctors about sexual attraction to superior:

I would like a confidential reply to this, please. Two years ago, I wrote to you, stating that I had more than professional feelings for my supervisor, which I do not wish to have. You suggested that I involve myself in other activities and to find someone. Well, I do have someone else now and I like him, but, not in the way that I would like because of my lingering feelings for my supervisor, which I do not wish to have (in fact, I try to avoid my supervisor whenever I can, which I know is not right). Should I tell the person that I am with about my feelings for my supervisor?

Signed, Wondering

Dear Wondering:

There doesn’t seem to be any reason to tell someone with whom you have a relationship, about your feelings for someone else (boss or not). If you do, it will almost certainly hurt that person’s feelings or make him or her angry, and either stop your relationship or shake it up for a long time.

Think of how you’d feel if the situation was reversed.You’re doing the right thing to not let your boss know of your infatuation. Apparently you are able to work successfully and your avoidance of him or her hasn’t been considered excessive. Now, you just need to decide how much you want to let your feelings interfere with your life away from work. I think you should continue to keep them to yourself and let them become even more manageable over time. Best wishes to you.

Tina Lewis Rowe

Tina Lewis Rowe

Tina had a thirty-three year career in law enforcement, serving with the Denver Police Department from 1969-1994 and was the Presidential United States Marshal for Colorado from 1994-2002. She provides training to law enforcement organizations and private sector groups and does conference presentations related to leadership, workplace communications and customized topics. Her style is inspirational with humor.